When someone says
"I know what you're going through", unless they are a fellow sufferer
or have experienced similar health issues, this sentence really gets my goat. Please,
for goodness sake refrain from saying this insensitive statement. Hold your
tongue, and count to ten, no matter how you urge to voice your opinion.
People assume
they know me, and come out with some very well meant advice I haven't asked
for, which is often inappropriate, and lacks any knowledge or understanding of
my situation. I generally let such advice go over my head, for I'm not one for
confrontation. On a rare occasion, if someone is insistent they know best and keep
on and on till I'm driven quite mad by their persistent ill placed suggestions,
not only is it extremely upsetting, but proves without shadow of a doubt, how
little that person actually knows me, Gaucher and Parkinson's disease. Unlike the three musketeers where "All for one and one for all", I'd much prefer to be solo and leave my two comrades behind.
No one unless in my
shoes can really appreciate what it's like battling each day living with two
chronic debilitating diseases. There is a huge difference between showing
genuine concern, empathy and offering support, than with the best will in the
world pushing one's personal opinions on someone else who is going through hell.
Being a good
listener, and actually taking in and accepting what a chronically ill person
says is the beginning of making a difference and offering good helpful support.
Think carefully before you open your mouth, try to stand in their shoes for one
moment and ask yourself what you can say or do to help. What would you want to
hear, were you in their place? I have heard some real gems in my time, some so
thoughtless and ridiculous, I have literally laughed out loud. Others have been
sharp like a knife and leave me emotionally wounded. On occasion a complete
stranger can catch me by surprise and do or say something that warms my heart
and reinforces my belief in mankind.
There's someone
who never offers her opinion, yet is with me all the time through the good days
and bad. She never judges me, but accepts me for who I am. Parkinson's symptoms
never phase her, and she always greets me warmly, no matter what mood I'm in. Despite
the fact that she is only a dog, she is a great companion, loyal, devoted and I
trust her instincts implicitly. My article this week in The Huffington Post is
light hearted about my dear four legged friend.
Enjoy your
weekend and happy Valentine's Day.
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