Each day
I wake up to hear the birds chirping away in the garden, announcing the night
is over and it’s a new day. One of our neighbours parks his truck in the
street, and the familiar sound of the engine is very distinct. Like clockwork,
every morning I hear him start up his truck and off to work he goes. You could
set your watch by his departure. Gradually the street comes alive as families
send their children off to school and their parents leave for work. Everyone is
so busy, they barely have time to breathe.
Whilst
this hub of activity goes on around me, my life is slowing down, and I find
myself moving from the slow lane onto the hard shoulder, and feel like a
spectator of sorts, watching life speed by in the fast lane. There are so many
things I cannot do anymore, therefore I try to concentrate on the things I can
do, but the list is getting worryingly shorter as time passes by. Living with a
degenerative disease, nothing stays the same for very long.
Living
with Parkinson’s disease is like living with a ruthless thief, who stealthily
steals a little more of my life each day. It doesn’t help to grieve for the loss
but accepting and coming to terms with my ever-changing situation is not easy. I
try to keep positive, and having support from family and friends, well let’s
just say, I couldn’t get by without them, especially my amazing husband who is also
my caregiver.
Before I
was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I must admit, I knew very little about this and
wish with all my heart that I was still blissfully ignorant of this rotten
disease. We all have hopes and dreams for the future, but I never envisaged my
life turning out this way. I guess no one does. All I can do, is make the best
of a bad situation, stay cheerful, maintain a sense of humour and never give up
hope.
These same thoughts go thru my mind. Some days all the
ReplyDeletelimits I keep bumping into just make me sad. This is
important, I think, to mourn the self left behind so
with realistic gratitude we can open into who we've
become. You're not alone.
Elaine.you are awesome,never surrender.
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