Feelings of guilt are expected and I believe normal when faced with diagnosis of Parkinson's, or any serious disease, especially knowing what one's family will have to endure in the years to come. In a moment of weakness I could easily slip into depression, feeling responsible and guilty at bringing this upon my husband. However the reality is that I had no idea until 6 years ago I would be diagnosed with Parkinson's. Feeling guilty or responsible does not help at all, for this is not something I chose. I didn't wake up one morning and think to myself, OK I'm going to have Parkinson's. Who in their right mind would wish for such a nightmare? Although there are times I feel bad for my immediately family having to put up with the many weird symptoms the disease throws at me daily, I try not to allow feelings of guilt to engulf me. If you allow it, guilt will eat away at you from the inside - an unhealthy scenario which benefits no one.
So onwards and upwards - day by day - step by step, this is all I can do. I endeavour to make the best of a bad situation, and hope that my misfortune has turned into something of value by being an advocate, offering support to those who find themselves in the same boat as myself, and ensuring the general public learn and understand about living with chronic disease. I refuse to sit back quietly, and will continue to write and make as much noise through my writing as I can. I may be one person, a small voice, but along with the global Parkinson community, together we can make a huge difference.