Loss cont.

I spoke yesterday about “loss”, and wanted to expand a little after speaking to a fellow sufferer. The “loss” encountered when living with a degenerative disease, is the continual decline; slowly but surely life changes, unable to do the things one would like to or used to do. I loved being with people and going out, but now have little energy, am tired beyond exhaustion by early evening, and although would very much like to accept the invitations I receive, I know I will not make it through the night. The loss of dexterity is extremely frustrating, and fighting with zips, buttons is no joke. Sometimes the smallest of chores in the home is so exasperating; pathetically I am brought to tears. Losing the ability to walk far is upsetting to put it mildly (a British understatement if ever there was one!). I used to walk for hours with our dog in the forest and this simple pleasure that I loved, has been stolen by Parkinson’s, who like a thief just keeps coming back to see what else can be taken from me. Unable to drive has become my biggest “loss” to date, affecting my daily life in an enormous way, rendering me housebound. To lose dignity, the ability to take care of one’s self and be self-reliant is what most people fear the most. To save my sanity, I accept (unwillingly) these changes and try to get on with my life, doing the best I can to enjoy my wonderful family and friends along with the things I can still do. Despite everything, I still smile and laugh, and know for sure that I don’t have to look very far to find someone unfortunately worse off than myself. A published author paid me a huge compliment the other day and told me “you are a natural writer”, and so I will continue to write the truth in an honest fashion about my experiences and thoughts, straight from my heart to yours.