In the midst of the night

Once again I find myself awake in the middle of the night; house cloaked in darkness, barely a sound to be heard apart from the fridge softly humming and our dog's incessant snoring. Unable to return to bed which is where I long to be and fall into restful slumber, pain is my unwelcome companion. This is probably the loneliest time for anyone chronically ill, not wanting to disturb the rest of the household who peacefully sleep and are unaware that I'm sitting at the kitchen table once again pouring out my heart with all the thoughts that fill my mind at such an hour. When no pain relief medications work, and no position is comfortable in bed, I cannot lay there any longer gazing at the wooden beams in our ceiling that peer at me through the blackness.

Twenty two years ago, when I met the Professor who takes care of me from a Gaucher point of view, he asked me a very pertinent question: "Are you the type of patient who lies in bed when not feeling well or do you get up and do things anyway?" I think this was a very astute question, and if you've been following my blog, I believe you can guess the answer I gave him. I have never been one to linger in bed; you can hardly make me sit still, mind you, diagnosed with Parkinson's now makes sitting still a virtual impossibility!  Nevertheless I like to keep occupied and busy even now with the addition of Parkinson's. This is who I am - it's who I've always been. I love to write, and this has given me purpose - without which I don't know where I'd be. When you're not feeling well, do you procrastinate in bed and dive under the covers to escape the world? or do you get out of bed and endeavour to busy yourself?

It's an interesting question as to whether one's behaviour as a patient is a result of upbringing, or simply one's personality. I write about this topic in my latest article entitled "The English patient" on The Huffington Post.