Continuing from yesterday, these are some of the
thoughts I wanted to share with you from the personal experience of a
caregiver:
"As unpleasant a
thought, it is natural and inevitable that one of a couple will go
first. After losing a spouse/partner, how does one move forward? Everyone
needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If hobbies and a social
network are already in place, this makes the transition from being a couple to
ending up single much easier. Plan and prepare for the day that will
unavoidably come - especially those caring 24/7 for someone without any help,
due to finances, guilt or shame.
The mourning process
begins whilst still caring for a loved one, and should be acknowledged that whilst
grieving the loss of the person, they should be remembered as they once were.
We all go through this whether we have an illness or not, simply due to the ageing process
that none of us can avoid. As the years pass, we become more fragile, no one
escapes this progression. We protect ourselves, but we shouldn't give up and
become insular; we need to fight it.
A caregiver doesn't
realise it at the time, but is already going through a mourning process even
though their loved one is still very much alive and present. Both go through
this course which is only normal. However, find new joys and interests that
both can share while still able; creating a new history together. This might
not be the route you had planned, but a different one can be made, by organizing
a variation of what you had once planned. Find a new place of contentment in
whatever inspires you - giving you reason to preserve your spirits. Keep in
touch with what you enjoy and don't give it up."
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