Maintaining friendships

Having close contacts, whether family members or friends is an important part of our social culture, where we are able to enjoy celebrating good times together and there for one another during instances when support and understanding is required. Maintaining friendships, when one is chronically ill makes things a little more complicated, as the relationship without intention, can unwittingly become one-sided. I have often found that family or friends are reluctant to tell me about their troubles, in particular if related to heath, presuming I have enough of my own health problems and don't need to hear any more. A relationship is a two way street, and just because I suffer two diseases, (and granted my on-going situation is of a serious nature) doesn't mean I should be, or want to be shielded from other people's troubles. I am interested and care, wanting to know what's happening, even if it's bad news. It is also insulting to a degree, keeping me in the dark, as this implies I am so wrapped up in my own issues that I can't think of anything or anyone else. I understand ill health only too well; therefore I am well equipped to talk about or discuss any issue, and want to be there for those I care about.

If you have a member of family or a friend who is extremely ill, please don't shut them out, keeping bad news from them, when you wouldn't have a second thought telling the person, were they healthy and well. Honest communication and being open with each other are the building bricks upon which any good lasting relationship is built.

Someone asked me the other day if I had lost any friends over the last few years due to being chronically ill. A very good question, and sadly I had to reply "yes". As we all find out during life, especially when dealing with experiences of loss, divorce or ill health, these are the times that test a true friendship. Some people step up to the mark without hesitation, whilst others just can't cope and decide to remove themselves from what they feel is an uncomfortable situation, and a relationship they are no longer prepared to invest in. I wonder what would happen if the shoe were on the other foot?