About me

I have been writing poetry and stories since I was a child, and a love of reading was instilled in me from an early age. I am passionate about writing, and hope you enjoy the books I have written. Whilst most of you sleep soundly in your beds, like many Parkinson’s patients, insomnia dictates, so during those hours that sleep eludes me, the house is tranquil and quiet, an atmosphere perfect to immerse myself in writing. My life has been a series of strange events, which have without doubt contributed to my creativity. To publish anything is to bear one’s soul to the world. It is to stand naked and let everyone see who you really are. I have poured my heart and soul out on paper and I hope to share this journey, immersing you in a story, capturing your attention and firing the imagination. Through my writing and public speaking I hope to bring greater awareness to the general public about living with chronic disease.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Masked expression

Sitting here writing my blog, I was reminded of a something that Pankaj Gandhi said: “The prettiest smiles, hides the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears, and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.” A smile is often the first thing one notices about a person, it can be the first sign of greeting or initial impression. I have felt for some time that my expression has started to freeze; mask-like on occasion and smiling now comes less natural. I used to continually have a big smile on my face, and although I still feel like I’m smiling, often no one else can see. Someone commented on the fact that I appear to be smiling less, and this is not due to feeling down or sad, simply that the muscles in my face are not responding as they used to. Losing my smile is a big loss to me, and whilst talking in a room full of strangers the other day, I felt acutely aware that my expression was frozen. People who do not understand this symptom of Parkinson’s might think that I am cold, unsympathetic or disinterested in what they are saying, but what they don’t understand is that under this masked expression, there is a huge beaming smile deep within me. I spotted a woman the other day and immediately recognised the classic Parkinson’s shuffle, non-swinging arms, resting tremor and frozen masked expression. As I neared her, we made eye contact, simultaneously realising that we were both taunted by Parkinson’s. Being part of this special group, a member of a growing fraternity where we have our own special ‘handshake’ (forgive my pun) and are members for life. There is no membership fee, no initiation ritual or secret ceremonies; just a diagnosis. 

1 comment:

  1. Elaine, you are an example to us all. I would like to see this blog on the front page of every newspaper, as you can be held up as an example of someone who sees the half- full glass, who never complains and who always has a smile on her face, even if it sometimes a half smile.

    Jill Sadowsky