About me

I have been writing poetry and stories since I was a child, and a love of reading was instilled in me from an early age. I am passionate about writing, and hope you enjoy the books I have written. Whilst most of you sleep soundly in your beds, like many Parkinson’s patients, insomnia dictates, so during those hours that sleep eludes me, the house is tranquil and quiet, an atmosphere perfect to immerse myself in writing. My life has been a series of strange events, which have without doubt contributed to my creativity. To publish anything is to bear one’s soul to the world. It is to stand naked and let everyone see who you really are. I have poured my heart and soul out on paper and I hope to share this journey, immersing you in a story, capturing your attention and firing the imagination. Through my writing and public speaking I hope to bring greater awareness to the general public about living with chronic disease.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

My warrantee has run out!

I want to lodge a complaint; to whom, I'm not exactly sure, but this body of mine just doesn't work properly, and my warrantee has run out, as if I ever had one in the first place! When your stove, fridge or mobile phone stops working and need to be fixed, if the said item is still under warrantee, you simply return it to the shop and hopefully they are able to fix the problem or you receive a new replacement model. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could do the same with your body? Just imagine going into a clinic and saying,  I'm dissatisfied with this body; it doesn't work properly, it’s got Gaucher and Parkinson’s. I’d like to exchange it for model that is healthy, and if you can give me an upgrade at the same time, that would be great!” This non-existent futuristic clinic (a crazy thought, but I'm sure you also wish one existed) would try to fix the glitch. Unable to, they would simply give you a new body. The phone companies, when issuing you a new phone, transfer all your numbers and data over to the new version, so this imaginary clinic of mine would take my spirit and soul and transfer it into a healthy working body. While they’re about it, maybe they could make me a couple of centimetres taller and remove those extra few kilos that I just can’t budge! What do you think? I think I've been watching too many science fiction movies!!! Don't worry I haven't gone crazy, it's just that at 02:15 when one can't sleep, I guess some strange ideas come into one's mind!


  1. A warranty might be worthless, because most expire after the first ninety days. Warranties are designed to favor the manufacturer, most of whom are confident that their product will last those first ninety days.

    Frankly, I think the warranty expires the day we’re born. In this day and age, when doctors seem to delight in telling us the leading causes of cancer, heart disease, etc., I’ve always believed the leading cause of death is birth.

    Maybe instead of a warranty a Lemon Law would be good. You know, like they do for automobiles? Too many things go wrong with it during the first six months of ownership and you can turn it in for a new one.

    Knock on wood, my health through fifty-five years has been reasonably good. My girlfriend recently convinced me to play on her coed softball team. Well, I haven’t played softball in fifteen years. The next day I paid a small price for it. Not sore mind you, but a trifle stiff: my body telling me, “You remember when you did this when you were twenty-five and I never complained? Well, I’ve got a few complaints for you now …”

    Complaints are one thing; but it’s tough when you get that final recall notice.

    I don’t think you’ve been watching too many science fiction movies; you just have a healthy imagination. It’s healthy, too, to dream. So maybe your better days are behind you. But so what? Just remind yourself that your best days are ahead of you—when you finally conquer the Great Divide.

    A fun read, Elaine.

  2. I love it. Yes, I'd like an oil and lube job on my stiff joints and I wouldn't mind a battery recharge. Perhaps change the spark plugs and a new windshield would help too.

    Who knows? Maybe someday your late-night fantasy will be a reality. Who'd a thunk 30 years ago that we'd be carrying cell phones around so I suppose anything is possible.

    Feel better soon.